It's hard to not know the future. It's hard to live in a state of indefinetes and maybes.
But it's harder to know the future.
I'm talking about deployment dates here. My coping mechanism is to stick my head in the sand and try not to think about it to closely. "Is my husband deploying? Yeah, sure, this Spring sometime." I might even be cooerced into naming the month he is going. But the entire time, I'm mentally plugging my ears and singing Laa la la as loud as I can. I just don't think about it too much because when you do, the count is on.
Once you know the date 100%, then all pretend is off. Even if you are intentionally vauge with friends and family, the truth is there and it's inescapable. It's the ultimate pink elephant. (Go ahead, try not to think of a pink elephant...you can't do it.)
I hate the military calendar too. The powerpoint one that they shine on the wall about 3 feet high. The one where you can't NOT look. The one where the months run together and it's impossible not to notice the number of Sundays you have left. I really hate that because now the clock is ticking.
Now I have to know and I can't try not to.