Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Clutter thoughts part 2 (hijacked but good!)

Wow…that was fun. So, I guess it’s more of a law than a theory—other people’s clutter in our home really is way more annoying than our own.

So now that we know this, what do we do about it?

Well, first off, we need to recognize how universally true this concept is. Virtually everyone agreed with it.

So guess what this means: Your clutter is way more annoying to those you share your home with than it is to you! Ouch.

Now, I realize your kids may not care, but your spouse probably does. And even if he isn’t bothered by your clutter (or wouldn’t admit it), by making our own clutter acceptable, we set the rules of engagement for our entire family. Our actions say “piles are OK” or “shoes in the middle of the floor is how we do it around here” or “clothes almost hitting the hamper is the way to go” and so on.

But that really isn’t what we want, is it? So if we don’t want clutter, we have to start with ourselves and fix our own clutter. Our biggest point of control (possibly our only point of true control, actually) is ourselves. So we have to start with our own clutter first.

In the original blog post, I said that if my own shoes are out it doesn't bother me; but if my kids are out it does. This was true to an extent. When I find my kids' shoes are out, I look around and say...what clues are in place from me, right now, that give my kids the idea that this is acceptable? Are my own shoes out? Is there other stuff out and about that makes it seem as if clutter is the status quo around here? If I look around and see no clutter except for their shoes, then I call them on it and ask them to put their shoes away. They do it and often even say "sorry."

By shifting your focus to yourself and your own clutter, you do a number of things. First, you are now focusing on something you can control—you! And this is very empowering. Second, by clearing up your own clutter you lead by example. You create the rules of engagement for your household and your family.

Once you have your own clutter under control, it is very valid to then ask your family members to get in on the game and follow suit. And if your stuff is all in its designated spot, how can they say no? You've taken away their best excuse.

3 comments:

  1. I like this idea. Now I just have to get motivated enough to get my stuff cleaned up and find a place for all of it. Yikes! This may not be super fun but I guess I gotta try something if I want my house to ever be clean for more than 5 seconds.

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  2. Another example of Dana as the Queen of applicable abstract thinking.

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  3. I came all the way back to this post because ever since this concept sank into my thick head, I think about it a lot when I'm cleaning the house. Thanks Dana for helping me grow.

    Lesson learned: If I make messes, other family members take that as license to make messes too.

    Then why doesn't the concept stretch to the next logical point, which I think would be: If I clean up my messes without being told, then other family members should automatically clean up their messes without being told also.

    Hmm?

    (Rhetorical question, don't feel obligated to answer :) )

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