So my sister is getting married on Aug 1st. She KNOWS I will not wear a dress unless it has sleeves. So this is what she picked for me to wear.She wants me to get this in soft pink....not brown as shown.
She suggested that I get a jacket to cover it up. See the purple jacket below.
I have to say that I love my sister and I really would like to attend her wedding. I just have to admit that I did not pay $250 for my wedding dress...or for any other dress I have ever worn.
I showed her several other options that I was willing to wear and even offered to have it made, but she didn't want me in a "homemade" dress and didn't like the others.
I have to say, I don't know if this will 1-look good on me (which is obviously not the point of a bridesmaid dress) or 2- meet my stringint standards of modesty (I can't tell how low cut it will be on me.)
There is nowhere to try it on and there are NO REFUNDS. So I'm frustrated.
On top of that, the plane tickets to MI will be over $600 EACH. We don't even know if Matt will get leave yet and we won't know till 30 days out.
Don't get me started on the whole fact that, yes, I am not a "maid" so I am not a "bride's maid". I have explained that to my sister and she doesn't care.....so there it is.
I am not looking forward to finding out what dress she expects me to buy for my daughter.
Am I being ridiculous? Am I being too whiny? Or should I tell her that I'll come, but really can't afford to have all of us come AND buy a bunch of dresses that I'll NEVER wear again?
Be honest, guys. I need the cold hard truth.
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oh oh oh!!! I'm highly opinionated so I'll share mine! I think big lavish expensive weddings are ridiculous! Bridesmaids and groomsmen are such a waste. I think you are totally justified in telling your sister no way to a dress that doesn't meet your personal standards of modesty and is expensive. If you are wearing a simple, tasteful dress (and I think a homemade one can be just that!) it in no way deters from the beauty of the day. In fact, the attention is supposed to be on the bride anyway, so what does it really matter what you are wearing?
ReplyDeleteI think people spend so much time and effort and money on all the silly details of the wedding day they forget to give any thought to the rest of the marriage-which is why the divorce rate is so high.
I mean no disrespect to you sister and have no desire to ruin her big day. I hope it truly is a memorable, happy, beautiful day. And hopefully you have a good enough relationship with her that she will understand and is adult enough to realize that this will not ruin her wedding day. The vows she makes will be the same. At the end of the day she'll still end up married to somebody she loves. What else matters?
Hey Dana, maybe it's time to just tell her that you will be there to support her but just can't afford to be part of the wedding party. I'm sure she can have a best friend be her maid or matron of honor.
ReplyDeleteHi Dana,
ReplyDeleteWow, it sounds like an expensive ordeal to me... I don't think you're being whiny at all. You just have your priorities straight. You have a young family that you're financially responsible for, and you aren't willing to budge on the modesty issue, which are both legitimate and honorable concerns. I think you should just be honest with her, and hope she doesn't get offended. But even if she does, you'll still know you're doing the right thing for you and your family. Good luck!
When my sister got married I told her that I couldn't be in her wedding party because I couldn't afford plane tickets & a dress. She was not offended at all and actually is was a lot more fun that way! I had no responsibility to the bride, or anyone else either - when my kids got tired we left! It was great - I did get a corsage to wear though, so I could feel special.
ReplyDeleteJust be honest with your sister and tell her that you won't/ can't spend that kind of money on a dress plus plane tickets. Hopefully she will be willing to give up the dress so that she can have her sister there for her special day. My sister got married in Jan and I didn't have the same dress as the bridesmaids because like you said I'm married and not at that place in life anymore. I just got an outfit that matched so I didn't clash in the pics and she was happy. My kids were in the wedding party as the flower girl and ring bearer and my mom got a really cute dress online for a good deal so I can get you the website when that comes up if she insists that you buy something. It was the same dress that the wedding store was selling for 189.00 for 35.00. Good luck. Jamie
ReplyDeleteHave you thought about putting something from shade clothing under it? I don't know if it would work. But I myself tend to spend more than I should when it comes to siblings weddings and I have 5 siblings so I feel for ya'
ReplyDelete