Pieces of Me

*****************I orginally posted this a long time ago, but I couldn't figure out how to move it from my other site....so I'm cutting a pasting it here. mostly becuase this is my "journal" and I dont' want to forget what I wrote*****************



so I just found out that the military is now requiring soldiers to first get any and all blogs approved by their first line supervisor prior to posting...

I guess this means Matt will be off the lines for quite some time. I'm not happy about this at all. I miss having emails and blogs to see what's going on inside his head.

and I still feel to blame for much of this. I shared an article he wrote and then suddenly everyone knew who he was....and he lost his annonymity.

sigh.

unfortunately, i think that my life won't be getting any easier any time soon. I worry about Matt with IEDs and kidney stones and life and death and faith. I worry that I am failing my kids as a mom and teacher. I worry that I am not loving Matt enough while he is gone, but the only way I can get through this is to block it out and try not to think about it. i know that once I see him again, I am going to be miserable all over again.. I know it sounds bad but I'm just now getting to the point where I can function without feeling overwhelmed and even now I have days where I want to curl up and just wait for him to come home to not have to be alone without him.